Jokes

Best Christmas Joke Ever

Best Merry Christmas Joke Ever

Merry Christmas JokesChristmas Jokes
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Best Christmas Joke Ever is just a sampling of all of the Xmas jokes we have here at Best Christmas Joke Ever. Christmas Jokes for everyone! Bring even more holiday cheer to the Christmas season with funny Christmas jokes that are safe for kids of all ages. You can also find more specific collections with jokes for the holidays, including Reindeer Jokes, Rudolph Jokes, Santa Jokes, Elf Jokes and all of our Christmas Joke Collections.

All of these Christmas jokes are clean, kid-safe and family-friendly. Perfect for teachers and parents, Christmas parties, lunch boxes, Christmas craft projects and putting inside Christmas cards. Email or text a joke to someone, share this page on a social media page, or just tell some while you’re out and about.

Here’s an idea for your Christmas party: write some of these Christmas jokes on pieces of paper and put them in a basket. Let guests read them out loud for everyone to enjoy. And guess what? These are also fun to incorporate into your Elf on the Shelf festivities! Elves love jokes!

Best Christmas Joke Ever

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells!


Where would you find chili beans?
At the north pole!


Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole?
No well, no well!


Why don't penguins fly?
Because they're not tall enough to be pilots!


What do sheep say at Christmas?
Wool-tide Bleating! or A Merry Christmas to Ewe!


What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!


What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad!


Which football team did the baby Jesus support?
Manger-ster United!


How did Mary & Joseph know how much Jesus weighted when he was born?
There was a weight in a manger!


What do you call a three legged donkey?
A wonky donkey!


What's the name of the one horse in "Jingle Bells"?
Bob. (Bells on Bob's tail ring!)


What is the most competitive season?
Win-ter!


Children: This turkey tastes like an old sofa!
Mom: Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Pudding
Pudding who?
Pudding in your face!

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