Long Christmas Jokes

Long Merry Christmas Jokes

Merry Christmas JokesChristmas Jokes

Long Christmas Jokes is just a sampling of all of the Xmas jokes we have here at Long Christmas Jokes. Christmas Jokes for everyone! Bring even more holiday cheer to the Christmas season with funny Christmas jokes that are safe for kids of all ages. You can also find more specific collections with jokes for the holidays, including Reindeer Jokes, Rudolph Jokes, Santa Jokes, Elf Jokes and all of our Christmas Joke Collections.

All of these Christmas jokes are clean, kid-safe and family-friendly. Perfect for teachers and parents, Christmas parties, lunch boxes, Christmas craft projects and putting inside Christmas cards. Email or text a joke to someone, share this page on a social media page, or just tell some while you’re out and about.

Here’s an idea for your Christmas party: write some of these Christmas jokes on pieces of paper and put them in a basket. Let guests read them out loud for everyone to enjoy. And guess what? These are also fun to incorporate into your Elf on the Shelf festivities! Elves love jokes!

Long Christmas Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Harold who?
Hark the Harold Angels Sing!

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: Well your in luck because I've got just the cream for that!

How many gifts can Santa squeeze in an empty stocking? One. It’s not empty after the first one.

There will be no Christmas anymore. I told Santa that you have been good the whole year. He died of laughter.
Funny how the year you stop believing in Santa is roughly the year you start getting socks and clothes for Christmas.

Another helicopter tried to land in our garden today. I think we’re going to have to reduce our Christmas lights a bit.

Lisa thanks her grandpa, "Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last year for Christmas. I've never got such a brilliant gift!"
"Really?" asks the surprised Grandpa.
Lisa says, "Oh yeah - every time I start playing, mom gives me 2 dollars so I would stop!"

What kind of a bike does Santa ride in his spare time? A Holly Davidson.

An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a 100 dollar bill. Who gets to keep it?
Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend.

Two women are chatting, "I took my husband to the Christmas market yesterday," says one of them.
"And, did someone want to buy him?" asks the other.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... well - that was the end of one survives without a heart.

One turkey asks another, "Do you believe in life after Christmas?"

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